Dancing with the Divine Tue, 13 Sep 2016 12:57:14 +0000 en-US hourly 1 My journey with sex, shame, intimacy and celibacy Mon, 12 Sep 2016 13:14:56 +0000 Keep reading...]]> I haven’t slept with anyone since I became single last December. I keep thinking (and saying) that it was ‘about six months ago’ but it has actually just gone nine.

Nine months. A sacred time. The time it takes to gestate a baby, only this time has been about birthing me.

I’m telling you because I assume you want to know (everyone else seems to and I don’t mind a bit) and this topic of sex and intimacy is really important to me because it’s an area I have struggled with my whole life.

I had my first orgasm at about nine (yes, it’s going to be that kind of post). It was an accidental occurrence between myself and an over-sized teddy bear at my grandparent’s place that started the ball rolling and it was… wonderful.

Who knew it was possible to create a feeling like that? I felt like I’d stumbled upon a hidden secret, which of course, I kinda had.

I remember my grandfather coming into the room shortly after I made my discovery and I felt like he knew exactly what I’d been doing, even though he probably did not. My cheeks blushed and I was filled with shame at the possibility of him knowing.

I continued on with my hidden practice for the next eight years (minus the bear), but despite my self-mastery, I was not ready for my first time with another person. I was seventeen and more concerned with fitting in than just about everything else.

It was not special or loving or cutely awkward.

It was not even the slightest bit enjoyable and was far less fun than the time with the teddy bear. I’m quite sure alcohol was involved.

My boyfriend then cheated on me and dumped me because I didn’t want to do it much after that.

I fell in love at 19, in my second year of university. He was a caliber of person who was worthy of my love, only I didn’t believe I was worthy of his.

I made up for my lack of self-worth by creating pleasurable experiences with him in the bedroom and it was beautiful. It was such a relief that I could enjoy sex with another person (sober!), rather than just by myself.

Then, one day, he shattered the confidence I’d built by telling me that my sexual appetite was ‘a bit much’ for him.

The familiar searing of shame burned through me.

First I wasn’t enough, then, I was too much. Which one was it?

I had a beautiful boyfriend for about two years in my early twenties.

I considered what we had to be a healthy sexual relationship but one day he gently observed: “You love orgasms, but you don’t really seem to love sex.”

That one stumped me. What was the difference?

But he was kinda right: by this stage I was in my final year of university reading feminist literature and becoming obsessed with the female orgasm.

I was so enraged that there was so little information about it and that it seemed to be overlooked by society at large.

I became a self-appointed, female orgasm advocate and a firm supporter of equal pleasure-rights.

I had no qualms about taking matters into my own hands (literally) to have my needs met if it looked like they might not be, which is why my sweet boyfriend at the time had a point – I was making it all about me and actually not about ‘us.’

Fast forward to my living room in Mexico several months ago…

I’m 35 and single after the end of a nine and a half year relationship with Tyrhone.

I’m posing a question to a friend in the hopes that I may shed some light on a concept that had seems to have alluded me in all my relationships, both short and long-term.


By then I knew that it wasn’t merely physical pleasure that I was seeking through sex, because I had experienced that in spades, and yet, I knew I’d been missing something.

“I mean, what IS true intimacy?” I asked.

After bandying around a few thoughts, the definition we settled upon was this:

Intimacy is the experience of seeing and being seen. 

It turned out that for me, true intimacy was less about sex than it was about being seen, appreciated and known and reciprocating that to another.

In that moment, I decided that sex for me could only ever be an expression of that.

Anything less would be dishonoring myself and another.

Hence, I now find myself exploring the longest period of celibacy that I can remember.

But before I go on, I feel called to share a bit more of my journey with sex, shame and intimacy.

When I met Tyrhone, I felt like I’d finally found it. The first time we made love I remember thinking, ‘So, this is what they are talking about in the movies!” It was passionate, romantic and tender. It felt like we fit. 

Things moved fast and before long, we’d moved countries together and were shacked up in Australia paying bills and playing house.

By this point, my drinking had progressed beyond the ‘good time party girl’ status I was desperately trying to cling to, and into the red zone of addiction. Honestly, I had always hovered in the red zone with my genetic pre-disposition, combined with unhealed childhood trauma and warped self image, but I denied that for a long time.

I now know that we didn’t stand a chance against my addiction. If intimacy is what I now believe it to be, then sadly, we would never have it because I was unable to see myself, let alone him.

In my denial, my desperation and my dis-ease, I pressed the ‘destruct’ button when I slept with someone else after an extended drinking binge.

Guilt and self-loathing would have eaten me alive had I not told Tyrhone, who I had been with for 3 years at that point, so I vomited my truth over him and watched him break before my eyes.

It was the most harrowing thing I’ve ever witnessed.

I did this, I did this, was all I could say to myself as I watched him writhe in pain.

I did the thing that I said I would never do and I no longer knew myself. My self hatred was fueled by this ‘proof’ that I was not a good person, because good people don’t hurt the people they love (I obviously knew nothing about the nature of addiction then).

He did not yell at me or call me names. I would have preferred that at the time, for it would have given me something to be self-righteous about.

Rather, he offered to forgive me, which made it even worse, for I no longer trusted myself with his love.

His was the Grace that saved my life, because I could no longer kid myself that I was okay and I knew I had to get help. 

Tyrhone came with me to my first AA meeting. I found an intimacy there that night that I’d been looking for my whole life in sex and men and parties and booze.

I saw them and They. Saw. Me.

They knew me. And they gave me a shred of hope that there was a chance I could know myself.

Two years into my recovery and our healing, we left to go traveling. The psychologist I had been seeing before we left told me that statistically, we probably wouldn’t make it as a couple but the defiant and idealistic part of me desperately wanted to prove her wrong.

I was sober. We loved each other. Surely that would enough.

But oh, how little idea I had about the journey of self-recovery within a relationship. How difficult it would be to show up for another when I was just learning to show up for myself.

And yet, we both did a damn good job of trying.

It may seem strange to talk about a relationship being a success after it ends, but I still declare ours one. And I am so grateful for the growth and love we gave each other.

While I risk being judged on my past mistakes by writing this, I am grateful to be finally coming to a place where I no longer judge myself.

I am certainly not proud of who I became, but I love who I am becoming as a result.

So, back to celibacy.

I didn’t decide to be celibate, I just decided to honor myself in a way I never have before. The way that 17 year old girl deserved to be honored but didn’t know it.

Celibacy, it seems, is part of that journey for now.

I’ve actually never felt more connected to my sexuality, because I am finally honoring my body, my soul and my heart.

My trauma in this area came from a lack of awareness, disconnection and chronic self-dishonoring. My healing is a direct result of awakening to my divinity, which is guiding me into self-love, one day at a time.

I want true intimacy with another, there is no doubt about that, but I am not willing to bypass any part of myself to get to someone else.  

I’m realizing that it’s going to take a very special individual to be able to see me, because there is a lot of me to see, but I trust that when that time comes, I’ll be ready to see them too.


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When Your Fears Come True – My Return to Australia Sun, 07 Aug 2016 12:58:05 +0000 Keep reading...]]> I’ve recently landed in Australia after a beautiful, revealing, connecting time of retreat and travel in Bali. We had an amazing experience together breathing, laughing, crying, eating, swimming, praying and DANCING in a peaceful, remote part of ‘the island of the Gods.’

Bali retreat dance 2016

It’s the first time I’ve been back to Australia in three and a half years, so needless to say I’m due for a visit.

It’s winter here and many of my friends forewarned me about the ‘Nordic’ temperatures, but after experiencing winter in Colorado and Montana in 2014/15, this is nothing.

Sarah Chamberlain Perth

This is the riverbank a short walk from my Mum’s house – the place I envisage when I think about Perth. The other day, after a lovely coffee date in the Swan Valley, we came here for a pate, cheese and kombucha picnic.

It was so peaceful and I’m so happy my Mum lives in such a lovely spot which is both close to the city and a nature reserve.

Perth is lovely. It’s clean, well-maintained, organised and pretty. It has changed a bit in the last few years with a lot more cafes and restaurants, a newly renovated airport and a fantastic stadium for events where I was lucky enough to attend the Cure concert on my second night in town.

It was an awesome show on every level and I’m so glad Perth finally has a world class venue to host world class acts. Plus, Robert Smith still sounds absolutely INCREDIBLE.

The Cure Perth

We drove past my old apartment the other day. The one I sold to allow me the freedom to travel. It’s a great place in a lovely inner city area, but driving past it didn’t pull any heart strings (the new funky donut store on the corner kinda did though).

In fact, I had the same feeling I had while I was living there, like maybe it should have made me happier than it did.

There hasn’t been a single moment of regret over selling it, or about any part of my journey, actually, which makes me want to time travel back to my four-and-a-half-years-ago-self and say, “There is really nothing to fear!”

Before we left on this adventure in February 2012, my biggest fears were that I would end up single, broke and homeless.

And some of those fears came true. I’m single and kinda homeless, but while the bank account is definitely lighter than it was, I’m not broke.

I’m staying at my Mum’s house in the same room I spent my late teens and early twenties, but it is a treat to be tucked into bed every night rather than a drag.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m far from immune to my cultural programming about the definition of success and this does trip up my self-esteem every now and again. But that is my work to do; to let go more and more of what ‘they’ supposedly think about my life and ask the more important question:

“What do I think about my life?”

My answer is that I love it.

I wasn’t able to say that before we left four and a half years ago.

I haven’t done or achieved many of the things that I wanted to in the early stages of the journey. I didn’t become a professional writer or publish a book or create passive income online. And I’m glad, because life has taken me in a different direction and I know it’s the right one.

I don’t have a plan or set goals or a grand vision, which I know goes against so much advice about success. But I have discovered a path of success that is working for me because it’s levered me out of addiction, depression and disconnection to a place of inner happiness I never thought I’d experience in this life.

And the greatest gift of that success is that I have served and helped some people along the way.

Today, my only goal is to serve my soul and in turn serve others, by living my dharma, my true path.

Just don’t ask me what the details of that path are, because I don’t know yet, I just know it involves sharing, connecting, dancing and yes, teaching.

I had such a great catch up with the beautiful Karyn of The Lost Lemurian on my last night in Bali and as we were sharing about our respective journeys she refreshingly stated, “I do not know what the fuck I am doing!”

I laughed so hard at the recognition of this because when you make the courageous leap from the head to the heart, it feels very much like not knowing what the fuck you’re doing. And that is one element of this journey that has not changed. What has changed is getting used to that feeling as an almost constant companion.

Coming ‘home’ has amplified it all again for me but I am LOVING seeing my family and friends and am reminded of all the amazing people I am surrounded with wherever I go. While I stumble over the question, “So, what are you doing?” (because, like I said, I don’t really know),  I do know I did the right thing by taking the risk to change my life and that the ‘more’ I was looking for actually does exist.

Things are pretty good in Australia and I’m so happy for my friends building wonderful lives here. My soul just needs different things in order to sing. This I know, more than ever, and that is such a gift.

The other gift is being reminded, yet again, that the voice of fear is bullshit, life is short (and so, so precious) and the only Right Way is the way our heart leads us.

I hope you are following yours.

Bali retreat temple

Sarah dream quote

Sarah xxx

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My Summer of Love Tour 2016 Wed, 13 Jul 2016 00:54:06 +0000 Keep reading...]]> This time last year I was in ‘The Summer of my Discontent.’ I actually called it that to add some levity to what was an extremely heavy time for me.

I’m grateful for that time. My suffering has never, ever failed to (eventually) deliver me into Love, propelling me forward into freedom.

I simply had to make a massive change or go through life forever feeling like something was missing. Turns out what was missing was me. I decided to choose myself and follow the truth of my heart at all cost. That action and an ongoing commitment to self-honoring has led me directly home to myself and given me a new sense of wholeness.

Now I find myself in a Whole New World, far beyond anything I’ve ever experienced or dreamed possible.

Sarah Chamberlain Divine Dance

The story of how I got here is a long one and you can find the full recap in the pages and pages and words upon words contained in this blog.

I’ve told you all about it and I am so thankful you’ve witnessed my journey.

It makes me able to stand in the glory of my new reality and tell you, ‘Yes, it was so worth it.’

And it continues to be. Despite my fear and self-doubt which still rears it’s head (usually when I’m making a big leap like this one).

So hopefully, you will know that any struggles or suffering you are experiencing are doing the same thing for you – always helping you realize your Self more fully.

Every, single bit. Every single piece of doubt and fear; rejection and confusion. It’s all leading you home to the light of your True Self.

And I promise, the True You is more luminous, radiant and beauty-FULL than you think.

So, I’m flying now. Literally and figuratively. I’ve just returned from an impromptu heart-led pilgrimage to Mexico City, Glastonbury, Ibiza, London and Paris which was a magical trip led by intuition and Joy.

And now, after a quick stopover in LA, I’m in Bali for my Journey to Shine yoga, meditation and Divine Dance retreat. (I still have one place left – join us!).

Afterwards, I’m heading to Australia to spend time with my family and friends – many of whom have been creating beautiful babies I need to meet and squeeze.

AND THERE WILL DEFINITELY BE DANCING!!!!! (Seriously, Perth gals, hit me up with your desired days and times so we can get together and dance!)

I’ve planned to head to India in late September to immerse myself in Kundalini yoga and community with a beautiful teacher I met in Mexico over a year ago, but honestly, it’s so far away that I have no idea where I’ll be by then.

I’m learning that all I have is each moment in which to choose the highest calling of my soul, and that my soul doesn’t care much for plans made months ago. So… we’ll see!

The transformation which has occurred within me these last few months is such that I’m not requiring anything from these these experiences that I don’t already have.

I’m overflowing with Love and know that I have Everything I’ll ever need. And yet, I know there is always More to experience, More magical people to connect, laugh and dance with and More Love to express and share.

So that is why I’m calling this journey my ‘Summer of Love Tour 2016.’

To celebrate everything I’ve been given. To remember who I am and why I’m here.

And to say Thank You. To Life. To the Journey. To You All.

I’m so grateful. Truly.

Sarah Chamberlain Playa del Carmen

I don’t know how much I’ll be writing here, but I LOVE connecting with you, so please follow me on Instagram or my personal Facebook to stay in touch (my Facebook posts are public, so you can hit ‘follow’ to see them in your news feed.)

I know there is so much more coming that I’m feeling an ending of what was. Nothing remains the same, and I know I need to let go in order to welcome what is being born.

I’m free-falling into Destiny, which appears to be unknown, yet I know in my heart that it contains my Highest Joy, Deepest Desires and Ultimate Love. There is really nothing, ever to lose and Everything to gain.

I’ll see you along The Way Somewhere,

In Love All Ways,

Sarah xxx


“I cannot lose anything in this place of abundance I found.” – St. Catherine of Siena

All photos are shot by the amazingly talented Ashlie Woods. She is INCREDIBLE and I cannot recommend a session with her enough.

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The Biggest Lie I Ever Told Mon, 13 Jun 2016 15:48:03 +0000 Keep reading...]]> I’ve come to realize that all of the suffering I’ve ever experienced was based on a big lie I told at a young age.

It became such a part of my psyche, however, that I barely noticed it’s existence. It wasn’t until recent events encouraged me to look at myself through a magnifying glass of truth, that I realized how embedded it really was.

That lie was, “There’s something wrong with me.”

If you were to take that magnifying glass of truth and turn it on yourself, perhaps you will discover that this lie has been present throughout your own journey.

In fact, I pretty much guarantee that if you have experienced addiction of any kind, depression or disconnection from life, you’ve told yourself this lie at some point.

That lie again is, “There is something wrong with me.”

And if so, believe me, you’re far from alone.

I was talking to a friend about this over breakfast just the other day and she asked me, “Why the hell do you think we did this? Believed there was something wrong with us? It doesn’t make any sense now!”

We both agreed that while our lives contained some challenging experiences, they were not of themselves responsible for this lie which we told ourselves.

I hypothesized that we created this belief during the ego-development phase of childhood, when our personality was being formed. During that phase of development we were the center of our universe and were interpreting every experience through a lens of ‘what does this mean about me?’

If we perceived certain circumstances of our lives to be ‘wrong’ then we automatically assumed it must’ve been because there was something wrong with ‘us.’ This happened to be the same time the major chemical pathways of the brain were being created, which embedded this interpretation as reality.

While that hypothesis may or may not be the reason for the development of this belief (nor does it really matter), I know one thing to be true – it is total bullshit.

It’s such bullshit, in fact, that it now seems preposterous to me that I ever created it, and yet, for some reason, I did and it became the driving force of my life.

This drove me to attempt to ‘fix’ myself, which manifested in approval seeking, people pleasing, pretending, perfectionism and addiction – the latter of which served to create proof for the lie.

It was an insatiable cycle to exist within, the saddest part of all being that I wasn’t present for many of my experiences because I was always trying to get somewhere that didn’t exist.

It’s like obsessing over fixing a car for your whole life when it’s actually run perfectly the whole time.

I’m sharing this with you because I’ve come to believe, through the personal conversations I have had with many people over the last several years, that many of us still hold at least a remnant of this belief which if turned around, frees us from so much suffering.

For me, letting go of it has involved a deep dive into Truth, surrendering to the Unconditionally Loving Source of all things.

What is continually revealed to me is that nothing has or ever will be wrong with me. I am not inherently flawed and never have been. Not in my worst moments. Not in my darkest hours.

It was the belief that there was something wrong with me which created my suffering, nothing else.

A mis-belief that I wasn’t even aware of for a very long time.

A lie.

The good news is that if there is nothing wrong with me, then there cannot possibly be anything wrong with you.

That’s right. There is nothing wrong with you.

I’ve also realized it was actually a pretty arrogant belief to hold. By thinking that there was something wrong with me, I was effectively separating myself from the perfection of all creation.

Thinking that the Creative Source of the Universe got the stars, the oceans, the geometric precision of snowflakes, pollination, the law of gravity and planetary alignment right but somehow along the cosmic factory line made even a tiny mistake with me is a level of delusion so great it now makes me smile.

As the layers of this lie is removed, I am embodying a state of radical self-responsibility, free of blame and victim hood.

At the same time, I’m being made me aware of my own Greatness, in that I now know I am here to receive Love, share Love and Be Love; expanding into a fuller version of myself by knowing how perfect, how whole and how Right – on every, single level – I really am.

And that feels a lot more true to me.

Sarah Chamberlain

“Illusion is viewing yourself less desirably than the Universe does.” – Matt Kahn. 

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Thank you for sharing this with anyone in your life who may benefit from it <3

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Video: Dance for JOY! Mon, 30 May 2016 12:58:08 +0000 Keep reading...]]> Happy Monday!

Dancing is and has always been my greatest JOY. I believe life is a Divine Dance to be enjoyed and experienced fully by EVERY BODY and so I hope this video of my recent dance improvisation encourages you to put on your favourite song or three and dance you booty off!!!

Note: there is a password for this video. It is divinedance.

Divine Dance Joy – Sarah Chamberlain from Sarah Chamberlain on Vimeo.

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More info on the Divine Dance movement is here. Check out my recent 80’s inspired spotify playlist to the right! 

Join me in Bali July 17-23 for an amazing yoga, meditation and dance retreat! 

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Video – The Divine Dance of Daring to be Magnificent Thu, 12 May 2016 14:28:46 +0000 Keep reading...]]> Yesterday I filmed an impromptu video about the Divine Dance of surrendering to the magnificence of our own soul. You know, the kind of thing you start thinking about during your second morning coffee…

Thank you for watching.

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Join me on retreat in Bali July 17-23 for a week of connection, meditation, yoga and DANCE…

It’s going to be MAGNIFICENT!!!!!! 

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All The Things I Did Not Do (a poem) Fri, 06 May 2016 15:49:56 +0000 Keep reading...]]> I did not buy the cheap house on the island no-one knew about.

I did not finish the course.

I did not climb Mt Sinai.

Or publish the book.

I didn’t start that business I mapped out in my mind.

I did not learn Spanish.


I did not attend my graduation ceremony.

I did not build the empire.

I didn’t tell him I didn’t want to.

I did not trust my greatness.

Or follow that sensible path.


I did not settle for my DNA.

I did not accept there wasn’t more.

I did not leave the bar when asked.

I did not tell the truth.

I did not give up on beauty.


on beauty

All these things I did not do, but what I did, I did instead.

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Beyond the Beyond in Holbox Sun, 01 May 2016 18:19:41 +0000 Keep reading...]]> A snippet from our recent Journey to Shine retreat on isla Holbox, Mexico which I’ll never be able to describe as anything other than ‘Beyond the Beyond’…

Talk amongst the group had been on Flamingos; Were they going to be here? When did the season start?

Agatha had a dream about thousands of flamingos flying toward her and through her and said it felt beautiful.

Irene said that according to Lonely Planet, they arrived in April some time, so maybe we would see them.

‘Oh, then we definitely will,’ I decided.

On the morning of the boat trip, Deborah and Fernanda were (stylishly) late to the meeting point, so I waited behind and sent the rest of the girls off toward the boats anchored in front of Villas Flamingos.

Flamingos Holbox

When the last two arrived, we made our way past the infinity-symbol-shaped swimming pool and down the steps into the emerald sea.

Being at the back of the pack, I paused to take a photo of this magnificent scene with my phone – beautiful women walking on water, skirts hitched up and Frida bags overhead.

Maru turned around to offer her signature peace sign.

Holbox Villas Flamingos

Snap. Beyond perfection, I thought.

And just then, off to our right, a single pink brush stroke appeared in the sky.

“Flamingo! Flamingoooooo!!!!!” I called out, pointing in awe and amazement as she gracefully arced overhead.

Our jaws dropped and we all shrieked as she carved her path through the air, blessing our journey with her presence.

We called her in and she came. In that moment the veil between the physical and ethereal realms was lifted and we knew our power. As women. As creators. As Goddesses.

When we arrived the boat, the captain said he hadn’t seen any yet – she was the first one of the entire season.

Later, we leapt off the boat to swim with dolphins in the open water, shrieking like children about miracles and magic but by then, we had become accustomed to Dancing with the Divine.

And that was just one day.

Holbox Villas FlamingosVillas FlamingosKundalini yoga retreatflor de la vidayoga retreat Holbox

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My next Journey to Shine retreat is in Bali, July 17-23. JOIN US FOR ANOTHER WEEK OF MAGIC AND MIRACLES!!!!!

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Video – Divine Dance Unleashed Mon, 11 Apr 2016 14:17:56 +0000 Keep reading...]]> I haven’t danced for anyone else in a really long time. I lead a weekly Divine Dance session with a group of amazing women here in Playa –  we dance to an hour-long playlist and close with relaxation and a guided meditation on our unique awesomeness.

I am never happier than when I glance around the studio and see ‘my girls’ rocking out or when a woman hugs me with tears in her eyes after class because she ‘hasn’t moved like that in years.’

After our session this past Saturday, I felt like I still needed to say some things.

So, I said them. And I filmed what came out.

There were no planned steps, routines or rehearsals (except 35 years of dancing around the living room), just me, the music and the dance. I danced the song 5 times (hence the sweat) and put it together in one clip.

I hope you enjoy it. I did.

*If Youtube pull the audio, the song accompanying the dance is ‘Say Something’ by A Big New World. 

“When there are no more words, there is the dance.” – Me. 

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Video soul session (from the heart) Sun, 03 Apr 2016 20:37:16 +0000 Keep reading...]]> I made this short video to connect with you about the path of self honoring and living from the heart that so many of us are currently exploring. I hope you enjoy it.

Thank you for watching! Please share this with anyone in your life who may benefit from it.

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There is ONE room left on our Journey to Shine women’s retreat on idyllic Holbox island starting April 17. Join us for an amazing week of sacred feminine connection in paradise. 

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