It’s my first single Valentines Day in a decade and I’m realizing that I am a die-hard romantic.
I posted on Facebook a while ago (when making the requisite changes to my profile, given my new situation) that I wished there was a relationship status of ‘Embarking on a passionate love affair with oneself.’
Because the ‘single’ status seems to send a different vibe to what I’m currently cultivating.
And where I’m at is a place of deeply and unconditionally honoring my most important relationship – my relationship to Self.
I have never, ever been at this place before.
I have never, ever given myself so much attention, care or compassion.
I have never, ever really honored myself, nourished myself or dare I say, romanced myself like I currently am.
It’s a Whole New World I’m stepping into, with no road map except this new consciousness of self-love which is arising within me.
My yoga and meditation practice is stronger than ever and has been my lifeline through this recent transition; anchoring me to my Divine Self which is pure Love.
I’m so blessed to have a small yet powerful tribe of yoginis to practice with and share our experiences. The kundalini yoga path has drawn us together in a sacred circle where we empower and uplift each other.
My twelve step recovery tribe still remains the foundation of my life. Last weekend was spent in recovery immersion – celebrating 21 years of our group (called ‘You Are Not Alone’) which attracts people in recovery from all over the world.
My skin was scorched from being on the beach and out on the water. My feet ached from dancing. My face was wrinkled from smiling and my stomach ached from laughing. My heart was full from hearing stories of hope, healing and renewal all weekend.
Talk about being emptied out to be filled up. It was an absolute privilege to be part of the planning and execution of meetings, parties, events and excursions we put on over the weekend.
Then, there has been the dancing. In addition to my weekly Divine dance sessions, where I gather a group of women to rock out to a different playlist each week – another amazing community of women I value beyond belief – I’ve started attending African dance classes which are accompanied by live drumming.
Sweet Holy Mother Mary, where has this been all my life? There is something so familiar about it to me, even though I’ve only been to two classes so far.
The drumming and the movements which flow out of that sacred rhythm feel like remembering something buried deep within me and is proving to be extremely healing and liberating.
With every conscious breath, step and thought, I am burning through the karma of my family tree. I come from a line of loving, strong and resilient women who sacrificed themselves so that I could have this life. I feel them with me as I chant, breathe and move through the world.
This phase of my life is extremely important for moving out of destructive patterns when it comes to love and relationships. I’ve acted out in damaging ways in the past, but I am emerging from my history more aware and evolved.
I’m currently 30 days into a 40 day practice of meditation called ‘So Purkh.’ This meditation was passed on by Yogi Bhajan for women to clear negativity with men. It is a long and beautiful mantra which is repeated 11 times per day for at least 40 days to heal relationships, clear karma and make way for conscious partnerships.
What a beautiful surprise it was to receive an invitation from my teacher to participate in a women’s group meditation of ‘So Purkh’ for Valentines Day.
Possibly as you are reading this, I’ll be chanting my heart out, surrounded by my spiritual sisters
I’m so grateful to have this opportunity to romance my Self. To nurture the BIG LOVE within me and cultivate this precious relationship.
While I’m in no hurry, I still have a deep faith in BIG LOVE of the romantic kind. The kind which comes from two hearts resonating to uplift each other to new heights.
I’m a hopeful (rather than hopeless) romantic because I’m discovering the unlimited capacity for love in my own heart.
I’m nurturing and honoring it and finally extending it to myself so that I may heal the inherited and self-generated karmic cycle I’ve been operating in.
So whatever your so called ‘relationship status’ is this Valentines day, please know that within you exists the BIG LOVE that the poets, mystics and musicians write about. And while it’s wonderful to have a special someone to share it with, it is indeed possible to romance your own heart.
In fact, I highly recommend it.
Guess what? There are still places available for our ‘Journey to Shine’ Kundalini yoga and Divine dance retreat in Mexico this April!!! JOIN US!!!!
And guess what else?? I’m hosting another ‘Journey to Shine’ Yoga, meditation and Divine dance retreat in BALI in July and all the details are here. COME!!!