We are born into this world via a contraction. Throughout our lives, we continue to experience contractions in order to expand and grow.
It’s easy to look back after one of these contractions and say, “Oh, now I see why I needed to go through that,” but in the moment, it totally blows.
I’ve dubbed these recent months ‘The Summer of My Discontent,’ which I think is pretty clever 😉
It’s so much easier to talk about being discontent when you’ve moved through the worst part of it.
I’m not totally out of the woods, mind you, because this contraction was a real motherfucker that didn’t seem to want to end. That’s how it felt, of course, when really, Life was merely attempting to show me things about myself and my tendencies which bring me suffering so I could let them go.
Like I said, I’m not quite out of the woods, but I’ve hacked my way through a lot of it and can see the light peering through the trees.
And when I emerge, I’ll be lighter than I’ve ever been.
These contractions have – as they always do – birthed some beautiful things.
I’ve become more compassionate to my friends going through a rough time and have forged deeper relationships with those around me.
I’ve been dancing more and have gathered a group of women together for Divine Dance sessions – a liberating practice of moving the way we want rather than the way we think we should.
It’s one of the best things I’ve ever created in my life and if it weren’t for these last few months, I wouldn’t have been desperate enough to push through my fears and do what I know I am here to do – be myself, share my gifts and encourage others to do the same.
I recently celebrated six years of sobriety surrounded by my amazing recovery community. Instead of pretending that everything was rosy, I was able to share something I learned during this year – “It’s okay not be okay sometimes.”
I’m attempting to leave behind dependency, people-pleasing and approval seeking to make way for unconditional self-acceptance, inner confidence and detachment from outcomes.
It’s going to be a long road, but one I am willing to walk.
Because I know I’m here to expand beyond my perceived limitations; to burn through my karma both inherited and created.
I’m not here to live by anyone else’s rules, or make people comfortable by meeting their expectations.
I’m not here to live out the dharma of my DNA, but to evolve out of old programming and create new rhythms for living and thriving.
It’s not an easy path. There are many contractions ahead. But I’m willing to face death – of old ideas, beliefs and behaviors – in order to truly live.
Ladies, if you are in Playa del Carmen on December 5, join me for a Divine Dance session at Palapa Suuk at 11am.
There are still some places left for my ‘Journey to Shine’ retreat on the spectacular island of Holbox next April. Join me and an amazing group of women for a spectacular week of yoga, dance, relaxation, nature and divine feminine connection.