How do I know if I should do this thing I want to do?
What if I make a mistake?
If this doesn’t work out, what do I do then?
How do I best serve my soul’s purpose?
I have so many questions and so few answers to them, except for that we never know exactly what we should be doing or how it is going to go.
We never know if the thing we want to do is going to serve our fullest expression or cause us to contract and crawl away with our tail between our legs.
We don’t know.
And that not knowing is a really humble, beautiful place to be.
It is a place I exist in most of the time.
At first it feels unnerving, like free falling into the abyss. I know less about my future than I ever, ever have, except that it keeps surprising and expanding me.
So now, I just make it an offering.
Any new idea I have or project I pursue – I make it an offering.
Any tricky conflict in my relationships – I make it an offering.
Any spike of pain which arises from seeing the truth of my delusions – I make it an offering.
Make it all an offering.
I use my intellect, experience, intuition and gifts to do my best.
To take action.
To show up.
But before I do the thing I think I should, or the thing I want or the thing which calls to me, I make it an offering.
I offer up my small (or large) action to Something Greater. I offer it up to be used exactly as it is meant to.
I offer it up in service to the Divine.
Make it an offering.
The difficult conversation, the setting of a boundary, the new job, the in-between-just-for-now job, the new relationship, the long-term relationship, the decision, the idea, the blog post, the book, the trip, the course, the facebook update – make it all an offering.
It is not up to us how our actions will be received.
It is not up to us to know the outcome.
It is not up to us to predict the future.
It is up to us to show up in service to our soul, but it is not up to us to know exactly how it will carry us into our brightest expression.
Making it an offering frees us up from over analyzing, future tripping and worry. It frees us from fear of rejection or judgement.
When we offer up our actions to Something Greater, it is used in service to that Something.
And believe me when I say that we do not need to know or understand what that ‘Something’ is.
It can be the Highest Good or Great Spirit or Creative Source or whatever concept you have (or don’t have) of the unknowable presence which moves through every thing.
In fact, when you don’t know exactly what you are offering to, except Goodness or Love, then prepare to be blown open with wonderment and awe at just how gratefully received your offering will be.
This is helpful for me because I often get stuck in second guessing whether I am actually trying to serve my self (with a small ‘s’), which how my ego defines me, or my greater Self, which is my universal essence.
This stuckness can result in not doing the things I am called to do out of fear of it leading me into separation from my essence rather than connection with it.
But it’s not up to me to know where anything is going to lead me!
Disconnection has taught me as much as connection has. Every mistake and rejection has served me and built me from within, just as much (if not more) as any achievement.
So how can I possibly only want to do things which will be guaranteed as ‘successful’ when my failures have, in fact, created me?
Start small. Anything and everything can be made into an offering. A shift at work. Asking someone on a date. A smile.
Make it an offering and let go of the outcome, because it is always received by your soul and delivered to your Source, whose divine alchemy can only transmute your offering into more light for the world.