I want to share a little process I have been using whenever I am stuck in doubt and want to get out.
I gotta say, I really, really hate existing in a state of doubt. Self-doubt, decision doubt, relationship doubt and creative doubt are all states I experience and it is a really unfulfilling, unproductive and un-fun place for me to be.
Usually, I will roll around in the doubt-mud for a while, listening to my head as it tells me all the reasons why something I want to do probably won’t work, until I get so fed up of my neurosis and reach for the pen.
Of course, you can do this little exercise mentally or verbally too, but I find writing makes it more concrete for me.
When I am stuck in my head, anything which gets me out of it and into reality is a really good thing.
One thing I know is that I don’t want to live my life driven by fear. I did that for a really long time and it sucked, so today I attempt to live from love, which I believe is our true state and the natural state of the entire universe.
I figure if it is good enough for the cosmos, it’s good enough for me and may even support me to expand into my full potential.
Just the other day I was ‘in it.’ I was full of doubt about something and it was so uncomfortable that I grabbed a pen and a little notebook and wrote ‘Fear’ as a heading on one page and ‘Love’ on another, in attempt to discover the truth about the situation.
This was it:
You might like to try this with a situation you are feeling doubtful about.
Under ‘fear’ I listed all the emotions, mental states and attitudes I would embody if approaching the situation in fear.
To translate my scribble, what came out under ‘fear’ was: ‘dissatisfaction, discontent, afraid of wrong decision, negative, critical, ungrateful, and ego – proving the thoughts.’
What comes out for you will be different, so feel free to write whatever comes to mind, even if it wouldn’t make sense to someone else. This is just for you.
Under the heading of ‘Love,’ I wrote, ‘flow, acceptance, love, the moment, trust, heart-centered, non-judgemental, faith-full and body + mind + spirit.’
Like I said, just write what comes out for you.
Immediately, I was able to see the truth of the situation I was feeling doubtful about.
This process really brought me the clarity I was seeking, cutting through the murkiness of doubt.
The voice of doubt can be very convincing. It can appear quite rational and practical, in fact.
But if, like me you believe that the truth which lies within us all is Love, and if you want to live in the flow of that energy, then stepping out of fear and into love is a process you must train yourself in.
There is nothing wrong with fear. It is a natural, evolutionary reaction to risk. It also has much to teach us; revealing the barriers we have developed in order to stay safe and protected.
In terms of our growth, however, whenever we retreat into fear and set up camp there, we simply stop growing. Stay there long enough and we experience dis-ease; mental, emotional, spiritual and even physical.
That is why being stuck in doubt feels so shitty. We are blocking the natural state of our inner universe.
Like pinching off a hose with water flowing through it, the pressure of the flow builds up and eventually bursts through.
I spent most of my life in that state of fear and doubt, until I got so sick that I finally let go and let flow.
Aaaah, the sweetness of surrender…
These days I still visit Doubt City regularly, usually when I want to try something new, be more authentic or vulnerable or show up in service to the world.
I also go there when I become lazy in my relationships and want to blame those close to me for not behaving exactly how I want them to.
This simple, easy and fast (I like fast!) process continues to lead me out of the illusion of my ego and into the truth of the loving creative Spirit which wants the best for me (and everyone else).
I hope you get some sweet relief from it too.