Surrendering to Stillness

When I was in first grade, I had an amazing teacher, Mrs Homme, who I’ll never forget. She encouraged me to start my first ‘blog,’ consisting of a scrap book in which I wrote about my life with thick crayon.

Every week I would write a poorly spelled story and she would read it. Not only that, but she would write back to me, commenting on my observations.

One week I told her about the kittens who were born under the water tank on the farm where we lived. I drew pictures of them and their big blue eyes in almost indecipherable scrawls of crayon. Beneath the picture I wrote, “the kitns r sooooooooo kyoot!”

She never corrected my spelling, but simply wrote back, “and so are you, Sarah.”

One week I delivered my ‘blog’ to her with the following words: “I dont hav anything to rit about today.”

She wrote back, “Well then I don’t have anything to write back to you!”

I have been thinking about that this week as I have struggled to find the words to express where I am at.

Like that time when I was five years old and had nothing to ‘rit about’, it isn’t that nothing is happening. In fact, the times when I don’t feel like writing are generally when the most is happening and I have have too many words to formulate a single idea.

Also, the words that are flowing through me right now are new to me. As my journey progresses and continues to expand me, so does my vocabulary of experience and I feel shy and unsure about how to express them.

On the flip side of that, I am one month into my second my e-retreat, ‘Journey to Shine’ with eighteen beautiful souls.

I am very, very comfortable in that space of connecting and sharing our journeys in a private, sacred space and right now, the internet at large seems too big and scarey for me.

Journey to ShineFilming my weekly e-retreat video…

My journey continues to lead me inward in deeper ways and I know that what I have to offer the world lies in staying true to my inner calling.

Hence, though it is the opposite of what my ego wants, I am at a place in my journey where I am called to surrender to stillness, for it is only in non-doing that I am able to hear the guidance of what I need to do.

The best things this journey has delivered to me have been things I didn’t plan for. They have come to me when I have surrendered what I think I should do/have/receive and I have instead gotten what I needed.

We have recently been given the opportunity to house sit our friends’ beautiful waterfront apartment.

If you had told me three years ago when we first set off that this is where we would be, living on the shores of the Caribbean coast of Mexico thanks to some wonderful friends we met along the way, I’d probably have told you that you were dreaming.

Stillness caribbeanSometimes I can barely catch my breath at the rate of profound change in my inner and outer life. Through both the challenges and the joys, I have received more blessings than I can count.

The things is, I know they do count. I know there is a reason for them, and it isn’t all about me. I am blessed so that I may bless others, and that is what my journey continues to reinforce.

I don’t think I will ever, ever have enough words or blog posts or facebook updates to express my gratitude to those of you who read them. This journey has blown me open in ways I never dreamed of, and if you weren’t here reading my ramblings, announcements and confessions, my journey would not be as rich and rewarding as it is.

I think that’s why I want to write to you to tell you I don’t have anything to write about for now. And also because writing to you helps me communicate in a clearer way with myself.

Knowing me, I probably won’t be able to stay away long. ‘Sarah Somewhere’ is my labor of love, my greatest creation and my life’s work. It has evolved me in the process of its unfolding and I know that there is so much more co-creating ahead.

I know today that I have a purpose, and that purpose is to evolve, connect, inspire, share and teach.

For now, though, my present involves lots of Kundalini yoga, meditation, staring at the sea, belly laughs with good friends, focusing on my retreat projects and working with some women here in Mexico who are beginning their recovery journey.

Sarah-Somewhere-Stillness

Oh, and beaches. Lots of beaches.

I love my life today and it has more meaning and purpose for having you in it. Thanks for still being here after all these years and you will be the first to know when I feel like I have something to write.

In the meantime, you can follow me on instagram which I can’t seem to stay away from!

Sarah xxx

My ‘Return to Wholeness’ meditation and yoga retreat in Bali is just under three months away and there are still two places available! Join me and fourteen amazing women from four countries for a week of stillness, reflection and relaxation on the shores of the north Bali sea.

balimandala buddha

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Comments

Surrendering to Stillness — 13 Comments

  1. Your journey is just perfect cause it’s perfectly yours! Loving the radiance, the words (you do have something to write – I just read it : )~, and the energy! Namaste.

    • Thank YOU for your gentle, kind soul Lauren! One of the many blessings of writing this blog has been meeting beautiful people like you xxx

  2. Sarah, even when you don’t have anything to “rit about” you do write beautifully, the first paragraph made me laugh. You are at peace and have inner happiness it is so lovely that you are able to help others to find their balance also. Amazing house sitting gig you have there, yoga and meditation in a place like that can most definitely make you feel good and blessed.
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    • Oh thank you Gilda! Yes, I think I find it easier to write about the challenging times than the happy times. I am looking at that!!! Yes, the beauty here is astounding. Every morning I wake up and think, “am I really here? How did I get here?” Of course, it is possible for me to miserable anywhere, which is why I do the inner work I do. It is everything to me becaause without it, I cannot appreciate where I am or what I have. Grateful to have such lovely people like you reading my words even when I don’t have anything to ‘rit’ 😉

  3. haha.. .Love this Sarah. Leave it to you to fill a blog page with “nothing to say”.. You are endlessly inspiring and I love following you along on your journey. Enjoy that beach view. WOW
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  4. From one nomadic soul to another…I feel like I know you, your honesty, openess and courage inspires and gives strength to us all. Like you, I’m a wanderer and sometimes the words, well lets just say, there are no words for some parts of the journey that ultimately can be so overwhelming even a careful selection of words won’t do. Stillness and contemplation are neccessary during those breathtaking moments of gratitude, gratitude for being present in that exact moment, in a wonderous place, that reminds you why you chose this path or why this path chose you. Simply put, you’re my inspiration and I hope our paths will cross one day so that we can connect, laugh and share it all….peace and love, Victoria

    • Oh Victoria, and yet, you find the perfect words to describe the indescribable! Yes, I find myself wanting to be more IN my life, experiencing the moment, rather than judging it in order to formulate an idea to write about. I embarked on this journey to see what would happen if I truly followed my heart and allowed my life to unfold in a natural way, rather than being shaped by external influences of society, family expectation etc, and I have found it to be an utterly liberating process. Painful, at times, confronting and confusing many times (!), but full and real and true and MINE. What a blessing it is to feel like my life finally fits me. Thank you, sweet soul for your touching message and I too hope our paths cross along the way. Until then, travel well and be well! Xxx

  5. I suspect many of us who write go through the same frame of mind… sometimes we just don’t have anything to say. Or sometimes I just don’t feel like it, you know? Or sometimes, I think it’s a good idea to just step away for a week or so. Take a break.

    And it’s funny, because I will have a case of writer’s block and can’t think of a thing to write and then some random ass thought will pop into my head – you know like when I’m in the shower – and I’ll sit down and before I know it I’ll have written an entire blog post. Poof! Just like that. Don’t you love it when that happens?!

    • Oh yes! I decide to take a break and get ten ideas for things to write! But I am committed to taking a break from blogging, and it is proving to be exactly what I need to reconnect with other areas of my life. I just like to be up front because I’ve been writing weekly here for almost four years and I think it’s weird to go away without letting the readers know <3

  6. I’m not sure why or how to define this but I think it’s completely essential for a writer to STOP writing at some point or another. Whether it’s just a break or a permanent pause on a project, it’s impossible to go hell-for-leather at all times. It’s like the moment between stanzas in a poem, or the moment you stop to enjoy the view on a hike. It’s gotta be done. Take all the time you need.
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