When I was in first grade, I had an amazing teacher, Mrs Homme, who I’ll never forget. She encouraged me to start my first ‘blog,’ consisting of a scrap book in which I wrote about my life with thick crayon.
Every week I would write a poorly spelled story and she would read it. Not only that, but she would write back to me, commenting on my observations.
One week I told her about the kittens who were born under the water tank on the farm where we lived. I drew pictures of them and their big blue eyes in almost indecipherable scrawls of crayon. Beneath the picture I wrote, “the kitns r sooooooooo kyoot!”
She never corrected my spelling, but simply wrote back, “and so are you, Sarah.”
One week I delivered my ‘blog’ to her with the following words: “I dont hav anything to rit about today.”
She wrote back, “Well then I don’t have anything to write back to you!”
I have been thinking about that this week as I have struggled to find the words to express where I am at.
Like that time when I was five years old and had nothing to ‘rit about’, it isn’t that nothing is happening. In fact, the times when I don’t feel like writing are generally when the most is happening and I have have too many words to formulate a single idea.
Also, the words that are flowing through me right now are new to me. As my journey progresses and continues to expand me, so does my vocabulary of experience and I feel shy and unsure about how to express them.
On the flip side of that, I am one month into my second my e-retreat, ‘Journey to Shine’ with eighteen beautiful souls.
I am very, very comfortable in that space of connecting and sharing our journeys in a private, sacred space and right now, the internet at large seems too big and scarey for me.
Filming my weekly e-retreat video…
My journey continues to lead me inward in deeper ways and I know that what I have to offer the world lies in staying true to my inner calling.
Hence, though it is the opposite of what my ego wants, I am at a place in my journey where I am called to surrender to stillness, for it is only in non-doing that I am able to hear the guidance of what I need to do.
The best things this journey has delivered to me have been things I didn’t plan for. They have come to me when I have surrendered what I think I should do/have/receive and I have instead gotten what I needed.
We have recently been given the opportunity to house sit our friends’ beautiful waterfront apartment.
If you had told me three years ago when we first set off that this is where we would be, living on the shores of the Caribbean coast of Mexico thanks to some wonderful friends we met along the way, I’d probably have told you that you were dreaming.
Sometimes I can barely catch my breath at the rate of profound change in my inner and outer life. Through both the challenges and the joys, I have received more blessings than I can count.
The things is, I know they do count. I know there is a reason for them, and it isn’t all about me. I am blessed so that I may bless others, and that is what my journey continues to reinforce.
I don’t think I will ever, ever have enough words or blog posts or facebook updates to express my gratitude to those of you who read them. This journey has blown me open in ways I never dreamed of, and if you weren’t here reading my ramblings, announcements and confessions, my journey would not be as rich and rewarding as it is.
I think that’s why I want to write to you to tell you I don’t have anything to write about for now. And also because writing to you helps me communicate in a clearer way with myself.
Knowing me, I probably won’t be able to stay away long. ‘Sarah Somewhere’ is my labor of love, my greatest creation and my life’s work. It has evolved me in the process of its unfolding and I know that there is so much more co-creating ahead.
I know today that I have a purpose, and that purpose is to evolve, connect, inspire, share and teach.
For now, though, my present involves lots of Kundalini yoga, meditation, staring at the sea, belly laughs with good friends, focusing on my retreat projects and working with some women here in Mexico who are beginning their recovery journey.
Oh, and beaches. Lots of beaches.
I love my life today and it has more meaning and purpose for having you in it. Thanks for still being here after all these years and you will be the first to know when I feel like I have something to write.
In the meantime, you can follow me on instagram which I can’t seem to stay away from!
My ‘Return to Wholeness’ meditation and yoga retreat in Bali is just under three months away and there are still two places available! Join me and fourteen amazing women from four countries for a week of stillness, reflection and relaxation on the shores of the north Bali sea.