This will be title of my second book, if I ever finish the first one. I’ll get to cash in on Eckhart Tolle’s Amazon searches and make a mint!
But seriously, with ‘the silly season’ upon us I have been thinking a lot about the power of that little word, ‘no’.
Anyone else have trouble with this word? I sure have. It has plagued me with its miniscule elusiveness and my inability to utter it when I want to.
It sounds so simple, so why have I always had such a hard time with it?
Because saying ‘no’ means not giving people what they want in favour of what I want.
It’s a self-esteem issue through and through and I since am a recovering people pleaser from way back, I’ve been experimenting with this powerful little word.
Because, you see, I am developing a pretty clear vision of how I want to live.
Slow. Connected. Inspired. Free.
I love my own company more than I ever have and I gather my energy in stillness, not through busyness.
I am more concerned these days with what I think about myself than what other people do.
Believe me, this is massive turn around from how I lived the first 30 years of my life, which is why I am still finding my feet with it. But with the new year (and my 34th birthday) almost upon us, I am thinking about the things I am saying ‘no’ to in order to make space for my deepest desired ‘yesses.’
Yep, I am saying ‘no’ to the force which has driven me through most of my life. Whether it’s striving for ‘success’ or popularity or creative accomplishment, I am saying no to that urgent, impatient way of getting there so that I can say yes to following my bliss and know that all I desire will manifest in divine timing.
I have pretty much let go of my old friend, ‘Fear Of Missing Out’ but I do occasionally use the word ‘should’ in regards to our travels. The truth is, I like doing nothing in exotic places sometimes. This is my life, not a vacation and like the seasons, my energy ebbs and flows, along with my desires.
I want to honour that and listen to my inner being, rather than stick to pre-determined schedule.
We’ll be spending my birthday and New Years’ eve in Salt Lake City on our way to Colorado for a house sit and I can think of nothing I’d rather do than stay in the hotel room eating Thai food and watching TV. If Mick Dodge or The Kardashians is on, I will be the happiest girl alive.
Of myself and others. Letting go of the jury in my head who analyzes every interaction. I lose my cool, I react negatively sometimes, I have ‘a past’ but I am human and so is everyone else. I don’t hold any grudges to any person on the planet, so why should I hold any against myself?
We are all just trying to find our way in this world and I truly think the ultimate lesson down here is compassion. For ourselves. For our fellow humans. We may have different opinions and ways of doing things, but there are reasons for that and many of us are the product of our experiences.
Things that don’t bring me Joy
If it’s not going to raise the joy-meter, I’m not doing it. That goes for all things professional and personal.
I’d rather have a few, high-quality relationships and focus on a couple of deeply satisfying projects than try to be everything to everyone.
Of course, I will wander off course with this one because I am still figuring out what I want, but I have begun to follow my joy into everything I do. No more putting it off until tomorrow ‘until I get this done or keep that person happy.’
Saying a (simple, respectful) ‘no’ to the noise ‘out there’ allows me to say a resounding “Hell Yes!” to the things which matter to me: Time. Stillness. Self-love. Presence. Joy. Freedom. Connection. Creativity. Adventure.
The things we love are the things we’re meant to do, and since those things are different for everyone it is vital to get clear on them so we can be true to ourselves.
I don’t think we will have a true sense of fulfillment until we do.
As 2015 approaches, I encourage you to say no to whatever is preventing you from saying YES to that which lights you up from the inside out.
For you will be doing yourself and the world a BIG favour when you do.