About a month ago I was struggling with feelings of ‘not enoughness,’ and I emphasize the word ‘struggle’ because what is so uncomfortable about negative emotion is that it is simply not natural for us to feel that way.
This is a new revelation for me.
It’s amazing the difference a month makes (or a day, or a moment), because I came out of that struggle by embracing what is true: that we have all made it by very virtue of our existence on this planet.
It’s so easy to get distracted by the illusion that we are what we do, or what we don’t do, which makes it so delicious when we return to that blissful knowing that we simply are what we are.
And what we are is the ecstatic dance of the universe expressing itself in physical form.
Sound a bit out there for ya?
Well picture this: A massive cosmic explosion of Source Energy which radiates outwards, ever expanding and evolving and creating and expanding through billions of years to create millions of galaxies with billions of planets and then expanding further to express itself through intelligent life.
Okay, that is an abridged version which my scientific boyfriend would shake his head at but ya get the idea!
And this energy, this life giving, love giving, ultimate creative Source just wants to expand and there is just no end to its expansion and it just loves creating so much because that is how it gets its kicks, that it decided to express itself through you.
It decided to create Gandhi and Jesus and Mohammed and Moses and Martin Luther King Jnr and Malala and Lady Gaga with as much gusto as it decided to create you. Yes little old you! Yes you, picking your nose and deciding what to watch on cable.
And you know what? It loves cable as long as you love cable because it’s only interest in you is that you enjoy this amazing, creative, fun and vital journey. Wanna change the world? Awesome! Wanna eat chocolate and revel in the deliciousness of that? Equally awesome because chocolate is awesome.
And because your bliss is just that: your bliss.
Ever watch a child at play? See how they follow their bliss into every interaction, every game, every new adventure. See how they fall down and howl briefly before returning to their giggling, happy, joyous state. See how their default is happy and their point of comparison is very brief misery which they seem to not hang around in for too long.
See how they don’t question anything for they know at the core of their little divine being that they are here to have FUN and only FUN and more FUN (interpersed with brief and heavy crying sessions because, man, teething is a bitch!).
And, breathe… (that is for me, mostly, because this revelation just PUMPS. ME. UP!!!)
And, I just know that is because it’s how I’m meant to feel.
Tyrhone and I were discussing the physical parameters for life on planet earth one day and it was all about a molten core and a magnetic field without which we wouldn’t be able to survive here and I was all like, man, that Source, that Force, whatever you want to call it (and I truly do not think it minds because I doubt that English is it’s first language) really made it happen down here for us!!
I mean, we have this magnetic field going on and this abundance of things to discover and enjoy during our brief time here in this form and it just BLOWS MY MIND that I could ever, possibly, slip out of that knowing and into worrying about my Facebook likes.
The Source Of All There Is must seriously be slapping it’s forehead and be like, ARE YOU KIDDING ME SARAH? I’VE GIVEN YOU ALL THIS (MOTIONS TO THE EVER EXPANDING UNIVERSE) AND YOU FOCUS ON THAT????!!!
So if you ever feel like maybe you are not quite living up, or maybe people don’t like you or maybe you are not living your purpose then hear this, that is bullshit.
It. Just. Is.
Why? Because it feels crappy and sucks your energy and wastes your time here when you really should be focusing on ways to celebrate hitting the freaking JACKPOT, the proof of which is your very existence.
If you are feeling unworthy or that you haven’t made it or that you’ve messed it all up or that you are not achieving your potential, the problem is not you but that very thought.
That thought takes you out of the party and into the grotty bathrooms covered in spew where no-one wants to be. And when you ask yourself why you left the party where fun, energy and happiness abound to be standing in a grotty bathroom and realise that you can just go back as soon as you decide to, it’s a massive relief.
The good news is, you cannot miss the party. You just simply cannot.
Ask and ye (that means you) shall receive. See? You’re back!
And you can barely remember the thoughts that took you out of the best party in the universe in the first place because when you are dancing out the full expression of yourself it is really hard to see a reason why you would ever stop.
And the Source of your existence expressed in you and through you just wants you to realise what you are. Not wait for it, or expect it in the form of validation from others or a bigger paycheck but realise that right now, in this moment, you are a walking, talking bliss-bomb of ever expanding joy and whatever you focus on will expand because you are that powerful.
And that is why you’ve already made it. So have fun with it, okay?