The great thing about having a designer for a boyfriend is that you get free web design. The other thing is that you’re always last in the queue.
Behind the projects of paying customers, behind TV watching and of course, flying.
I’ve wanted to change things around here for a while. I’ve been busting to shake things up with a new design and slight change in direction but the truth is, it’s been good for me to be patient.
I’ve gone in 50 different directions in my head in terms of design, before coming back to the original one we came up with months ago.
It’s been good to take the time to look inward, to listen to my inner voice and become aware of my desires and fears. It’s also bloody brilliant to finally make it to the front of the queue and get a new website!
I am very grateful to my talented, patient boyfriend and think it is a sign of progress that we did not have one major fight during this process!
And I’m grateful I waited, because the right time is never when I think it is and always when it actually happens.
I’m also beyond grateful for my beautiful, imperfect journey which has led me here. If it had all been smooth sailing, I wouldn’t be here taking care of a beautiful house overlooking the Pacific Ocean and I wouldn’t be writing to you, for there would be nothing to write about.
Nothing to discover, overcome or learn from. And that would be a real shame.
It’s been quite a journey we’ve had here together over the last two and a half years. From this very first blog post, where my hands shook when I hit publish, many things have changed.
Not become someone different, but merely let go of many ideas and attitudes which were keeping me from realising my truest self. My hands still shake when I hit publish though, which I take to be a good sign.
I have let go of a lot of shame about my journey as a recovering alcoholic in the hope that it may help someone else to realise that healing is possible.
I have also let go of so many fears I used to hold inside me and can barely believe I did something like jump out of a plane.
I have learned to love more and to get out of my comfort zone to show that love, whether to a new friend, family member or my own boyfriend. I’ve also begun a love fest with my inner-most being and it’s been the greatest discovery of my life.
I have made many mistakes, which have led to many apologies. These apologies have healed wounds within myself and others.
I have begun many new friendships with this blog and rekindled old ones.
And on most days, I’ve found the courage to be myself which has always been my greatest challenge.
Showing up as the real me, who is often fearful, always hopeful and sometimes faithful has been the biggest gift I’ve given myself. The fact that you’ve allowed me to share about my challenges as well and my joys and accomplishments here has been the greatest gift you’ve given me.
The biggest lie we are led to believe from the world is that exposing our vulnerabilities to another person makes us weak. I can attest to the fact that the opposite is true.
Our strength does not come from the world’s opinion of us or the level of success we attain in it’s eyes, but from our willingness to embrace the truth which exists within us. With each step toward that truth, we are fortified with love from within, and with that love we can take on the world and change it for the better.
When we allow our true being, always luminous within us, to shine as brightly as it was designed, we help others to do the same.
Thank you for continually helping me discover the beauty of my imperfect journey. My greatest hope is that you will realise the beauty of your own.
I have a request! If you can think of anyone you know who will enjoy this site, please share it with them. Hit the ‘like’ button at the top, tweet, pin or send a handwritten letter via homing pigeon. I appreciate your support in getting my writing out to anyone you think it may help, entertain or inspire.
Many thanks xxx