I’ve been reflecting on the transformation I have experienced in the last month (particularly) which is challenging for me put into words. Challenging here, a space on the internet I originally intended to house my travel stories, but which has since evolved into something different.
The message I get from this experience is that change and growth are necessary for us to embrace the transformation which awaits us. If I had only shared travel related stories because I deemed this to be a travel blog, my journey would not have been as fulfilling (and scary and painful and joy-filled) as it has.
Right now, in this current season of my life, I am experiencing an inner contentment that is rather new to me. It looks and feels different to the idea of happiness I have held in my mind since I was a child, and that’s because it is. I’ll be writing more about this soon for it is such a shifting, changing and unstable force on which I am resting right now that trying to explain it might just trigger the controlling, perfectionist side of my character which I am very much in a process of letting go of.
I am so grateful to this journey for calling me out of a way of life that didn’t bring me contentment into one that does.
I never felt like my life fit me, and that’s because it didn’t. My discontent wasn’t an illusion, it was a sure-fire sign that I wasn’t living my truth (even though my mind fought that notion and told me there must’ve been something wrong with me).
My life has been one which has been lived mostly in separation from my true nature. Living in separation for so long led to a destructive path, one which I have been recovering from for several years. My true recovery, however, has been in discovering who I really am.
This has required (for me) a journey of sharing honestly.
I was called to this path. It hasn’t been easy and it hasn’t always given me freedom. It has caused me to be judged and criticized (most harshly by myself).
But now, in this moment, I am free.
I have no shame, for I no longer identify with the ‘self’ who felt shame. I don’t judge myself because I accept my humanity and the way the world has conditioned me with certain beliefs and ideas. I completely forgive myself and the world, too, by the way.
My mind would ask,”Why the hell are you doing this to yourself? Allowing yourself to be judged by so many people?” or the ever-present, “Who the hell do you think you are?”
I would read blogs by people who shared openly and claimed to have no shame and think, impossible!
That wasn’t me. Still I continued to answer the inner call to connect through sharing myself with whomever happened to read or listen.
Now, I sit here, writing to you from a beautiful home in San Miguel de Allende filled with books and Mexican crafts (which found me, I might add), without an ounce of shame for who I am.
And that is an absolute miracle.
Today, I don’t worry for people who share openly about their struggles; I am more concerned for those who don’t. Living in society which values the material over the spiritual, the ego over the true self and conformity over individuality forces us into a perceived sense of separation – it’s only natural when we live in a way which is counter intuitive to our true nature.
Society at large is not set up for contentment. If you are unhappy or depressed or confused, well I say yay for you! Your soul has already begun to see through the charade of the world, because your soul exists only in purity and truth.
It makes me happy when people open up like a new flower, expanding their tightly held petals to receive life-giving light and fresh air.
It’s all we need to do – allow our true selves to unfold in the world, transforming us and those around us.
It is the gift we offer ourselves and the world, because We Are One and what we do for ourselves, we do for each other.
I urge you to perform the sacred act of sharing yourself. Open the dusty doors of all the dark nooks and crannies and share what you find with Some One. A counselor, therapist, trusted friend or spiritual advisor. If it makes you feel any better, for any mistake you have made I bet I’ve made a bigger one!
It is an action you take to honor your Real Self, the self of all abiding love, forgiveness and peace; a self which is available to every single human being on this planet who walks a path of sincerity, honesty and intention.
Bring your darkness into the light.
Life is too precious not to, and your true nature is too beautiful to be shrouded in shadows.