Post Easter Cluckiness

Easter Egg

Apart from the influx of people on the beaches of Playa del Carmen over the weekend, Easter came and went for us without much hoopla. There weren’t even any discounted Easter eggs in the supermarket yesterday because, well, there weren’t ever any Easter eggs in the supermarket.

When I lived in Australia, the brightly coloured, foil covered Easter eggs on the shelves in Coles were my only reminder that Easter was approaching. When the first bunny ears appeared on the shelves in February, I’d roll my eyes along with the other shoppers and throw out exasperated comments like, “Easter eggs, already?” never thinking that there would come a day when I would give my left little toe (I’m not that desperate) for the delightful ‘snap, snap!’ of refrigerated Cadbury milk-chocolate eggs.

So maybe it was my low blood sugar that was to blame for the strange moment I had in the baby clothes section of Walmart yesterday. We got lost looking for tea towels and somehow ended up there. I mean, they really know how to get a childless, chocolate-yearning 32 year-old woman don’t they? Tiny pink stripey onesies with matching socks and teeny turtle t-shirts screaming out to my empty womb like candy to a kid.

My friend back home just had a little girl, so I thought maybe I could get the onesie for her to satiate my strange attraction to miniature clothing, but then I remembered the postal system in Mexico to be abysmal and the chance of it actually reaching Australia, slim to none.

Obviously, despite my travelling lifestyle and feeling like my life is finally on its true course, I am not immune to biology or adorable children’s wear. Sometimes I’m so adamant that motherhood isn’t for me, and then occasionally, in the baby section of Walmart or more commonly when I’m having a particularly ‘in love’ day with Tyrhone, I entertain the thought, thinking I’d be missing out if I didn’t experience the life-affirming process of creating a little person.

Yes, the FOMO* is strong is this one.

And then there’s Tyrhone, who acts so nonchalant about the whole thing, throwing out comments like, “I like babies but I couldn’t eat a whole one,” but then gets within a few meters of a little person and is reduced to a smiling, waving, coohing mess, crying “they like me!” if one happens to turn their bobbly head and googly eyes his way.

It hasn’t helped that we have traveled through countries which seem to have the most beautiful babies – Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, China, Mexico- I mean these people are creating some adorable small versions of themselves, let me tell you.

Coming home and seeing this photo on Facebook of my two little nieces in my Mum’s backyard on Easter Sunday almost unhinged me. I missed them so much recently it really threatened to put a damper on this whole travel-the-world-and-live-my-dreams malarkey…

Easter egg hunt

Then last night I got an email from my Mum asking to Skype because she had Olivia, my nearly 4 year-old niece at her place, who had just asked where I lived and if she could come and see me. I choked back the tears over the Skype call as Mum let hers flow, retelling the story to me while Olivia ate her cereal and completely ignored me.


Before long, though, we were singing songs accompanied by Tyrhone’s terrible guitar playing (seriously, he’s like a performing seal when it comes to kids), counting in Spanish and having a nice little breakfast date. Man, that girl can put away some cereal, let me tell ya.

I guess the holidays bring up a lot of feelings, even without the requisite chocolate bunnies to go along with them. Because the truth is, I have my hands pretty full taking care of myself, not just physically, but spiritually and emotionally, let alone the 31 year old bearded baby I live with. There is still so much I want to do, we want to do, and the potential of what is ahead for us in the next couple of years is so exciting because it’s not planned out.

I’m free, and it feels wonderful. I’m really not ready to give that up for a pink onesie or a turtle t-shirt any time soon.

I don’t know what the future holds, no one does, so all I can do is have the best right now that I can. I’m just very grateful to be an Aunty to the two most gorgeous kids on the planet, who can still ignore me over their breakfast like normal nieces, thanks to the wonders of technology.

How lucky we all are.

Easter beach bunnies

*FOMO, or Fear Of Missing Out is a serious condition treated by mindfulness meditation and Facebook abstinence :)

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Post Easter Cluckiness — 21 Comments

    • He he yes, it’s pretty big here! Apparently its a bit a different to the one in the states, not that I would know as I haven’t been to one in the US :)

  1. Just wait until you get into South America. The babies in Ecuador and Peru and Chile will MELT YOU. I get these feelings too, Sarah, but right now I feel like i have so many other things to give birth to, if you will. I know, I know some people have it all but I’m not sure I’m one of those people that could juggle everything. Anyway, I’m glad you raised the topic because I think a lot of us 30-something travelers feel this way.
    Kim recently posted..A conversation on an Indian airplaneMy Profile

    • Thank you Kim, yes I’m definitely in trouble! I am really not someone who can do it all either, I can barely juggle my own life and I have such an easy one compared to so many people! I can definitely relate to feeling like I have other things to create first, and like you, I don’t think I’ll be satisfied until I give those things my full attention :)

  2. I second what Kim says (and I haven’t even left yet). I think one of the things my friends don’t realize right now is one of my major sacrifices is waiting to have a family. We definitely want kids so putting it off is hard when holding our friends’ new baby, playing with our 3-year-old niece or teaching our 1-year-old nephew to say “ehhhh” like the Fonz (yep, that happened and now he.won’t.stop…he he he).

    Buuuuut…I know I’m going to be a much better person and parent if we take care of our needs right now. I will tell you, it is HARD to resist wanting a family now when I see Shawn so obviously in love with any of these adorable kids in our lives. Ugh. It becomes like a spell over me. Have you seen the little Mongolian children? They are so freaking adorable it kills me and I haven’t even seen them in PERSON yet! I’m going to die.

    • Yes you are! It must be hard but at least you know you want kids, most of the time we lean towards not wanting children, but I have lived long enough to know that things change, sometimes quite dramatically, which is why I am not definite. Not now or soon is all I know for sure :)

      • There seems to be a common theme of having freedom vs. having kids, but I think we’ve all read enough family travel blogs out there to know it’s not always an either/or situation. I don’t think it’ll be easy regardless of where we plant ourselves (or don’t plant ourselves), but there are certainly rewards for things that are difficult in life. I’m not saying it’s for everyone, and if it’s not for you then good on you for being honest with yourselves, but I don’t think you HAVE to feel trapped having children.

  3. I completely understand your feelings Sarah. I am nearly 32 as well and sometimes (very rarely!!!) get that feeling when I see baby clothes or toys. I have never been a very maternal person though. I have four nieces and one nephew and although it is always nice seeing them I feel completely exhausted after just one day spent with them. My siblings and in laws always say that we are missing out by not having children, but I can’t help but think that they are the ones who are missing out actually. WHen I spoke to them last they asked me what’s new and I told them I have seen Everest. All news they could tell me was that my niece stopped ballet class …
    TammyOnTheMove recently posted..Everest Base Camp chroniclesMy Profile

    • Hey Tammy, great points! I have no doubt that having a child would be an amazing experience, a little like travel in the way that once you do it you don’t ever regret it (at least we hope so!). But I’m not prepared to sacrifice my freedom right now. I love it how Oprah always said motherhood is the hardest job on the planet, and I tend to agree. If I was going to do it, I want to be sure I would be able to do it well, and with everything I want to do in life in the next few years, I just wouldn’t be able to.
      Sarahsomewhere recently posted..Post Easter CluckinessMy Profile

  4. I was such an ugly baby. Perhaps you can adopt one temporarily to see how you go? 😛

    • I seriously doubt that Jimmy. I hear that babies are for life… I’ve never even had pets except strays, I’m THAT afraid of the commitment :)

  5. I wanted to have children once, then I got over it. I am now 57 and glad that I stuck to my decision not to reproduce. I know that everyone says you get over being selfish but I’m not sure I would have.
    I am now going to restart my solo journeys. I don’t think I would be able to if I had children. Would I still be supporting, worrying? Probably.
    All that doesn’t mean I don’t love kids. I am the best Aunt a kid could have, just ask me. Took one to Paris, one to Costa Rica, and one to Buenos Aires. Probably wouldn’t have done that if I had to raise them too!
    I love being the eccentric, little bit crazy, Aunt that comes and goes and sometimes takes one along.
    So Sarah, if you should decide that kids are not in your future, spoil your neice’s and have a great life!

    • What awesome advice, Patty, thank you so much!! I love your take on it, and the freedom you still have sounds very attractive to me!! All the best on your travels, can’t wait to follow along, thank you so much for stopping by to say hello :)

  6. Completely relate, I feel like you’ve plucked thoughts straight from my head! I always wanted to wait to start a family to get all of the things I wanted for myself out of the way, I didn’t want to be one of these people who felt like they’ve given up everything and definitely didn’t want to resent my kids. The only problem is that I’m 31 now and still have very little inclination (aside from when I see adorable Thai kids like I am at the moment!) My problem is I like the idea of having a family, but in practice I’m not sure I’m cut out for it.

    We were sitting on a plane the other day and a harassed Mum was dealing with two kids by herself behind us, I genuinely don’t know if I have the patience.

    Great post, thanks for being so honest :-)
    Maddie recently posted..Our very own driver in BaliMy Profile

  7. Wait to Karen reads this post Sarah! (She is currently sleeping in Cairo somewhere) we are so in sync!

    We are having the same debate, well every few months or so. This freedom we have created is precious and It would be very hard to give up. As are kids but I am as ambivalent as Tyrhone on the matter. Although I don’t want to eat them! :)

    A friend gave us great advice on the matter. “Whatever you decide will be the right decision”

    Take care,
    Paul Farrugia recently posted..Four reasons to volunteer while you travelMy Profile

    • Ah, yeah… She must have heard you talking about her!!!! Thanks Paul, I really love that by sharing our stories we can connect with others facing similar issues, so I’m glad that you can relate :)

  8. Hi Sarah!

    Did I write this post?

    I actually started meditating this year with the sole purpose of connecting to what I truly want regarding kids. Such a big dilemma when biology isn’t giving me the clucks.

    As for FOMO – is there a group I could join :)

    Your nieces are adorable!
    Karen recently posted..From a dream to an award-winning businessMy Profile

    • Hi Karen! Yes, it’s like I want to know for sure either way, but I can only really take what comes and be happy with what I have today, and enjoy the freedom I have. Maybe it will just be like that forever, and what a wonderful life that will be. If things change, then it will still be wonderful, so I guess there is really nothing to decide, just live each day to the full with what we have. Hope your travels are going well :)
      Sarahsomewhere recently posted..March in Playa: Change, Progress and a Bit of MadnessMy Profile