I leave tomorrow for India. Our brief sojourn in Australia en route to our next destinations has gone blindingly quick. I said goodbye to Tyrhone last Friday, the lead up of which was worse than the actual event (often the case with things I’m worried about). We’re having family Christmas tonight – prawns, turkey, the whole bit. I told my little niece Santa may even make an exception and deliver some gifts early since I’m leaving tomorrow.
Her eyes widened bigger than usual and she nodded her head knowingly – she still believes in the unbelievable and the impossible.
As did I a few short weeks ago.
I came to a point where I honestly believed anything as possible, that life could be joyful and simple and a manifestation of my creative desires.
A stop-over in Melbourne to see friends brought a greater knowing. Spending time with my dear friend Brooke’s new baby Piper, taking her for her first photo with Santa. Connecting with my beautiful friend who I grew up with and have always shared the journey with in some way. Our paths may be different now, but when they cross, it’s even more special.
Then reconnecting with another special friend, this time a new one, Alli who I climbed Mt Rinjani with back in Indonesia. Originally from Texas, I met Alli in Bali and she now lives in Melbourne. The synchronicity of life floors me these days.
Then it was home to Perth, organising visas for India, and trying to catch up with family and friends, though again, time got away to see and do it all.
This didn’t matter to my little nieces, for whom it seemed I’d never been away. Except for 3 year-old Olivia’s question of “Sarah, where is your house?” to which I responded that I didn’t have one.
“But ya need a house!” she informed me, as if I wasn’t aware of a very basic fact about life.
I wanted to tell her that you don’t need one, that you can live wherever you choose, experiencing life in all it’s glory in every corner of the globe, but I didn’t.
Yesterday as I was packing, she said she wanted to go to India, then added, “But I don’t know where India is, so you’ll need to show me.”
My heart could have broke into a thousand pieces if I’d let it.
When Mum and I were having a conversation about her recent trip to France, Olivia informed us she had been to France, and had her last birthday party there. Like I said, she believes in the unbelievable.
Coming back is wonderful, but a little difficult. Life here is so vastly different from what we have been experiencing, and it was a bit of a shock at first. I felt more like a foreigner than I had in the last ten months of travel. But I’m very lucky to have such loving and supportive family and friends, who always welcome me back with open arms (and always want to buy me dinner, thank you guys!!!).
But I began to notice that my hair was drab, my skin spotty and my clothes, well… let’s just say that I don’t even own a pair of jeans. Things I haven’t thought about for so long, old ideas and insecurities, rose to the surface. The shops lined with shiny things began to grab my attention, making me feel like if I had some of them, I’d feel better.
Negative thoughts masquerading as rational ones began to creep in again, telling me that perhaps I was “a bit silly” (as my niece would say) to think I could live life this way, living off the interest of our savings and trying to make an income from my writing.
But those thoughts are not the truth, and thankfully I am able to recognize that now. The happiness and joy I have found in doing what I love is real, and whilst I may not know anyone (in person) who lives a similar lifestyle, I have to believe in my own happiness, rather than that of others.
My faith has been experiential. My belief in the seemingly impossible and unbelievable has been restored by this journey we embarked on. The proof is in the delicious pudding that life has become for us as the result of following our hearts.
Not the head, never the head. For the head will tell me all sorts of lies filled with ‘can’t’ and ‘shouldn’t’ and ‘won’t’.
The heart says, “Why not? Give it a try, who knows you might even succeed, and if you fail, so what?”
And it says, “Of course you can have Christmas on the 12th of December and then fly to India to spend actual Christmas with a girl you have never met, then drive across India in a three-wheeled tin can with another girl you’ve never met.”
Because just like my little niece, my heart still believes in the unbelievable and the impossible.
Merry Christmas everyone.
My beautiful family (minus Tyrhone, and my brother-in-law Mark)! Me, my nieces Olivia and Sophie, My Mum Pam and my sister Rebecca
Thank you to everyone who has supported The Rickshaw Run Diaries, proudly sponsored by KEEN footwear. KEEN have not only covered some of our entry fees for the event, but fitted us out in amazing shoes and bags, as well as provided us with a bundle of shoes to give away in India. We are so blessed to be supported by such a wonderful company, whose sense of social and environmental responsibility is matched only by their high quality, ultra-funky products. Like them on Facebook! Thank you KEEN!!!