The Journey To Somewhere

I finished work last Thursday. I am no longer a flight attendant. I got some business cards printed for kicks (I know, soooo 1980) and labeled myself with the following words: Traveler. Writer. Dreamer. I mean, that pretty much sums me up right now. I am writing a blog aren’t I? I am traveling. And I’m certainly dreaming! I’ve always been afraid to call myself a writer. About a year ago, I went to the Perth Writer’s Festival, and met Kate Holden,  the author of two amazing memoirs, In My Skin, and The Romantic. I asked her if she always wanted to be a writer, or if it were the events that transpired in her life (becoming a heroin addict and working as a prostitute) that kindled her creative fire.

You see, I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but never felt like I had anything interesting enough to write about. I could have become a heroin addict and a prostitute, but… it’s already been done.

And I couldn’t see myself as a fiction writer, as I am drawn to non-fiction, usually in the form of memoir or travel narrative.

“Are you a writer, Sarah?” she asked as she was signing my book.

The truth was, I wanted to be a writer, but at that stage I wasn’t actually, well, writing.

“Umm, no, more of a reader” I said.

“Well, the world needs readers,” she replied, “there are so many writers.”

For some reason, that kind of deflated me. Because it’s true, there are so, so many writers in the world. What could I possibly have to say that would be worth reading?

So I kept reading, and I kept dreaming, and hoping that some day I would discover my ‘thing’ that would be worth writing about.

I wanted my thing to inspire and delight others. I wanted it to be artistic and creative.

At one point, I thought I had it.  I’ll start a magazine!

With Tyrhone’s graphic design skills, our friend Marty’s journalistic prowess, and my and enthusiasm, I was sure we were going to be a great success.

We had a business name (but no plan!) and a front cover design, as well as a few ideas for features, but when we approached printers, we quickly realised that we would have to sell a hell of a lot of advertising just to cover costs.

Suddenly it felt like all I would be doing would be selling ad-space on a page, rather than focussing on the thing I actually wanted to do (write).

And now that I have entered the blogosphere, I think “what were we thinking?!  Print Media? Why that’s so 2005!”

When It’s  Not Meant To Be…

Soon my enthusiasm fizzled out. I felt drained by the whole project and we hadn’t even got it off the ground! My intuition told me it wasn’t right. I’m glad I listened.

A few months later, Tyrhone and I had the talk.

What did we want? Where were we heading?

I wanted to know Tyrhone’s answers to those questions, but also, my own.

He looked down and said, “I don’t know.”

Now ordinarily, those may be crushing words to a girl! But actually, I appreciated his honesty.

I thought I knew what I wanted, but it suddenly felt like I had been trying to squeeze us into a tiny, rigid box, and then getting resentful when we didn’t fit.

I felt like I should want marriage, a big house and kids, but because Tyrhone wasn’t interested in those things, I kind of blamed him for my unhappiness. Okay, I definitely blamed him!

When I asked myself what it was that I truly wanted, at that very moment in time, it was to travel and write, in that order. Or rather, live the life of my dreams rather than the one I had prescribed myself.

And why was I expecting my partner to subscribe to the same sort of existence that I myself didn’t actually want?

Confused? Yeah, it was pretty messed up!

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On a yoga retreat in Bali, surrounded by natural beauty with plenty of time to think (and think and think!) I discussed a feeling I had with some members of the group using words similar to these:

“I feel like the life I’ve chosen doesn’t fit me.”

I had a job with flexible hours and good perks, but it wasn’t doing it for me any more. It hadn’t been for a long time.

I had a nice apartment in a decent suburb. A loving family, supportive partner and good friends.

But the truth was, I wasn’t living my truth. And if I wasn’t living my truth, that meant I was living a lie…

And so began the journey towards discovering my ‘true’ life…

I’ve already filled in the blanks with my other posts, about the events that have led us to this point, jobless, almost homeless, and about to step into The Great Unknown.

I have no regrets about leaving my job. Or selling our apartment. And I am so excited about seeing the world, and allowing ourselves time to truly experience it.

I firmly believe those decisions were vital to living the life we want. We’re on the same path now. We’re excited.

And I have something to write about!!!

I started this blog as a creative outlet, a place to share my thoughts, fears, ideas and experiences. It has been one of the best things I have ever done.

Just over a year ago, I celebrated my 30th birthday in Varanasi, India. As I bobbed on the water of the River Ganges in a wooden boat, whilst worshippers performed the Aarti ceremony, I closed my eyes, and asked for meaning.

Apparently, the Ganga delivers, though not on anyone’s time-line but her own.

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So as we get ready to depart on out Indefinite Travel Adventure, I’d like to say thank you, to the people who read this blog, and inspire me with your comments and ideas (please, keep them coming!).

To all my former work colleagues, who encouraged me endlessly and shared your own dreams and aspirations with me, I truly wish you every happiness.

To my family, who support me with unconditional love, no matter what crazy ideas I come up with, thank you.

To everyone that has complimented my writing, your encouragement is so greatly appreciated, as I’m not yet at the point of total self-confidence in my abilities (nor will I probably ever be!), and still feel sick whenever I post something on this site.

I hope I can continue to grow as a writer, and as a person.

And finally, I’m just so excited that I’ve finally found something that lights me up, inspires me endlessly and is proving to be my biggest teacher yet. My journey to…Somewhere.

To all the bloggers that continue to pave the way and push boundaries with their openness and honesty about their own stories, a million thank you’s.

In particular, Hannah and Kim who have already made this journey worthwhile with their friendship, love and honesty.

And, most of all, to Tyrhone, for daring to be… Well… Tyrhone. There’s no-one else like you, and I’m blessed to be one of the few who gets to know you. My life had been endlessly enriched since meeting you and I hope I can come close to returning the favour some day.

I hope you enjoy reading about our adventures on the road, as well as our journey towards becoming the best us we can be.

 

Love, Sarah, soon to be Somewhere…Else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

The Journey To Somewhere — 16 Comments

  1. You hit the nail on the head Sarah. “allowing ourselves time to truly experience it.”
    Fantastic post as always….and how exciting that this is just the beginning!!!
    Safe travels to you both, and I’ll probably see you soon….I hope.

  2. Following your dreams and writing about your passion for traveling is obviously what you’re meant to be doing. So glad you’re sharing the experience on your blog. You really do write exceptionally well. It’s so easy to read and your enthusiasm and honesty is infectious. Enjoy your travels, adventures and experiences! Can’t wait to hear all about them :)

    • Thank you so much Cath, that is really so kind of you, and I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Hope all is well in Sydney town, lots of love x

  3. Dear Sarah

    What wonderful words  and thoughts to ponder. I look forward to reading of your adventures. You are a truly inspiring person and your beautiful sunny positivity at work will be missed.

    “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” 
    — Mark Twain

    So as you go forth rejoice in the knowledge you have already achieved your first goals: as Traveler and Writer. Never lose the ability to dream,  if you can dream it, you can make it come true.

    Sending best wishes and love your way

    C xx

    • Thank you Claire!!!! I love that quote, and YOUR wonderful words. I wish you all the very best in following your dreams aswell, thank you for taking the time to read and comment, it means alot, take care, love Sarah xxx

  4. Reading your words made me ponder the “cookie cutter” existence that most people lead. Exactly who are we satisfying by living our lives that way? Other people? Or other people that we want to impress?

    When we finally get off the conveyor belt of seeking our worth in things and other people and finally put it back on our intrinsic value as irreplaceable human beings, we can then begin to live authentically and live the life we were meant to live.

    Isn’t it strange that we kick up a fuss over chickens being in cages in barns saying that chickens were not meant to live their lives that way, but we don’t see that spending 40 hours a week in a cubicle in an office job or being stuffed in a plane for hours on end isn’t what human beings were meant to do either.

    We were made to be free range! So if I could donate one theme that would describe your whole adventure and by defacto your blog it would be “living life as a free range human being”.

    I look forward to reading about your adventures as a free range human being :) May your adventures be never ending and may the novelty never wear off.

  5. That’s fantastic!!!! Free range human being, I love it, and really, you must be starting your own blog soon?! I will certainly ponder that concept as we enter into our new life as wanderers and wonderers. It’s day one, and already I feel a lightness of being, a freedom to be myself unencumbered by the expectations of western society. I am, of course still a product of that society, but I look forward to being taught by the world and to develop my own ideas based on openess and acceptance.
    Thanks for your wonderful words, take care :)

    • You’re not the only person who would like me to start a blog. Like in your story I have doubts as to what to write and who would actually read it. I have many diverse interests such as Buddhism which I have practiced since 2008, psychology of which I’m starting a Bachelor of Psychology at Deakin University this year part time as a mature age student, human rights and solo travel just to name a few.

      I’ll have to see what my timetable is for uni when it comes out in a few weeks and see if I can squeeze the time to fit something in. It may just be a humble little blog on wordpress where I put up my thoughts and feelings on a variety of things and whoever is interested can sign up for updates.

      But now that you’ve reminded me of it I will seriously consider doing it :)

      • Well I will be signing up, as all of those areas are of a great interest to me! Go for it!!!! And as for a humble little wordpress blog – that it all it needs to be! This has been one of the most rewarding things I have ever done, having had no blogging experience and limited writing experience. But we all have life experience which will benefit others, and that’s all it’s about really.

  6. Oh Sarah, you are simply remarkable. I have loved reading every word on this blog, and feel blessed to now call you my friend. You have inspired me endlessly, and I know you will continue to do so. I also know that whatever you encounter in this next phase of your life is going to be magical, just like your writing xxx

  7. I think we should form a mutual appreciation society!!! Ditto, ditto, ditto, if it wasn’t for your honesty and inspiration I wouldn’t have the courage to write openly about my journey. So THANK YOU XXX

  8. I was once in your shoes, about 18 months ago. I also felt that things didn’t fit, I often say I was only 95% happy and all I could feel was the missing 5%.

    I think it’s important that we do write and share these feelings because there are a lot of us out there. If we all shared we’d realize we are not alone.

    • Hi Ayngelina, thanks for stopping by, I love your blog!!! Now that we’re on the road, I have absolutely no regrets, and am kinda thinking “what was I worried about?”, but at the time, that’s easier said than done! In saying that, its been a fantastic journey, and I have learnt so much from other travellers such as yourself that make the whole stressful process of making a major life change completely worthwhile :)

  9. Great Post! I’m in the middle of the same thing – and it’s exciting to see someone else living their dream ‘out side the box’ – I can’t wait to see what kind of adventures you get to :)

    • Thanks Dana! I have no regrets, it is an amazing opportunity to be able travel long term, and all the stress and hard work was completely worth it! I wish you all the best in your travels, and thank you for stopping by :)